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Once upon a time . . .

Filed under: Venezuela

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. . . the land of the free and the home of the brave was governed by a peanut-brained, red-necked, buck-toothed imbecile named (what else) Jimmy (sorry about that insult all you peanuts out there).

{Turn the virtual page to read more about our brave hero Jimmy and his adventures}

One day, Jimmy decided to go and have an adventure. He tried to free some hostages being held by a crazed Islamic dictator in Iran.

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It didn't go so well. So our hero Jimmy decided to forget about Iran, and turn his attention elsewhere.Like Palestine, for instance. He decided it was necessary to give the bloodthirsty terrorists of Hamas "a chance" to do the right thing.

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That didn't go too well either, probably just bad luck thought our hero Jimmy, and he decided to forget about Palestine too. Next stop, North Korea.

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As cruel fate would have it, brave little Jimmy did not find success in that far off place either. Where, oh where, thought poor Jimmy, can I be allowed to show what I'm made of? Where can I be permitted to demonstrate the obvious fact that I'm the most superior being on the face of the planet. How about if I write a book, thought Jimmy. Maybe that'll do it.

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No such luck. Oops! Jimmy forgot that Palestine was a place he should stay away from. What's more, the world hadn't yet enlarged its mind enough to see defending your children from terrorist maniacs as being the same as enslaving black people based on their race. But that'll happen when you are as far ahead of your time as our hero Jimmy.

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"Wait a minute! I know!" exclaimed our man Jimmy. "South America! I've never been there! I bet I can make a big splash!"

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Jimmy met a swell fellow named Hugo down in South America, and told everybody how great Hugo was.

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Oh, how sad. Another boo-boo! Hugo turned out not to be so nice after all. Jimmy said he was "concerned that non-renewal of broadcast concessions for political reasons will have a chilling effect on free speech." Wow, that's pretty strong language. Gosh, Jimmy, don't be so rough on poor Hugo! After all, you're a big part of the reason why all those skulls are getting cracked open.

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"Gobble gobble gobble," said Jimmy. I should have stuck with the peanuts.

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Comments


alec says:

Insulting Jimmy Carter is like taking candy from a baby. I think your time and resources are better spent elsewhere.


Bob Agard says:

On the contrary: your timing could not have been more appropriate, given what is happening in the Middle East and in Venezuela. Thank you! Very well done.


what? says:

Venezuela has had a week of uninterrupted student protests, Chavez is having a PR debalce on his hands as more and more people express their dissent with the closure of RCTV. From Brasilian expresidents to a journalist association in Moscow, wverybody has condemned Chavez and he is like a child, screaming that he was right and is the good guy, regardless of countless students being shot at and arrested without proof, so much so that I have faith in Hugo Chavez losing this battle... and all you write is about this clown nobody cares about?????


La Russophobe says:

WHAT?:

Pardon me, but if you took the time to actually read this blog before spouting off your nonsense, you'd see we've devoted several HUGE posts to the topic. I think you need to apologize.

What's more, this "clown nobody cares about" repeatedly inserts himself into major international situations and wields influence. Where were you when he made the deal with North Korea? Where were you when he green-lighted Chavez? We're interested in more than just one country, and more than just today.


GWEH says:

Mora, I have told you this before: The Iran hostage rescue operation was Carter's finest moment in office. It took courage to approve and he let the military run it. This is from the Air Force Delta Force guys who participated in it. They are the last word.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


La Russophobe says:

GWEH:

First of all, Mora isn't the author of this post and had nothing to do with it (other than inspiring it with her item in the "Democracy News" section of our blog). I'm the author, my name is at the bottom of the post.

Then, referring to Jimmy Carter's "finest moment" as president is not saying anything whatsoever. A monkey's worst day would have been better than Carter's best day. As you may have heard, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. The point of this post, which you seem to ignore, is not to criticize Carter's decision to rescue the hostages but to criticize his decision to do anything other than walk the dog after that, and to criticize our own failure to allow him to continue to play any kind of role in guiding our foreign affairs.


WHAT? says:

Hi,
yes, the blog has devoted a great amount of time to Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador, etc. But almost all the articles were written by Mora y Leon, who has a deep understanding of the latinamerican psyche. In fact, her latest article is most interesting.

You, my dear russophobe, have a great comparative advantage writing on Russia, and I have enjoyed your posts on the subject. On Latin America, however, you don't do so well. I know, everybody is concerned about Chavez, but, as we say in Spanish, zapatero a tus zapatos (shoemaker, to your shoes).

I don't know why I should apologize for expressing my point of view -after all, that's all Chavez wanted from RCTV, right? (Yes, I'm comparing you with him). So, no, I won't do it. In fact, your post is even worse now, on a second read, as it implies that Chavez accumulated so much power because of Carter's blunders.

stay with Russia. Aren't they threatening Europe now? That's an interesting story that you could cover much better than this one.


WHAT? says:

Hi,
yes, the blog has devoted a great amount of time to Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador, etc. But almost all the articles were written by Mora y Leon, who has a deep understanding of the latinamerican psyche. In fact, her latest article is most interesting.

You, my dear russophobe, have a great comparative advantage writing on Russia, and I have enjoyed your posts on the subject. On Latin America, however, you don't do so well. I know, everybody is concerned about Chavez, but, as we say in Spanish, zapatero a tus zapatos (shoemaker, to your shoes).

I don't know why I should apologize for expressing my point of view -after all, that's all Chavez wanted from RCTV, right? (Yes, I'm comparing you with him). So, no, I won't do it. In fact, your post is even worse now, on a second read, as it implies that Chavez accumulated so much power because of Carter's blunders.

stay with Russia. Aren't they threatening Europe now? That's an interesting story that you could cover much better than this one.


WHAT? says:

Hi,
yes, the blog has devoted a great amount of time to Venezuela, Bolivia, Ecuador, etc. But almost all the articles were written by Mora y Leon, who has a deep understanding of the latinamerican psyche. In fact, her latest article is most interesting.

You, my dear russophobe, have a great comparative advantage writing on Russia, and I have enjoyed your posts on the subject. On Latin America, however, you don't do so well. I know, everybody is concerned about Chavez, but, as we say in Spanish, zapatero a tus zapatos (shoemaker, to your shoes).

I don't know why I should apologize for expressing my point of view -after all, that's all Chavez wanted from RCTV, right? (Yes, I'm comparing you with him). So, no, I won't do it. In fact, your post is even worse now, on a second read, as it implies that Chavez accumulated so much power because of Carter's blunders.

stay with Russia. Aren't they threatening Europe now? That's an interesting story that you could cover much better than this one.


WHAT? says:

Sorry,
I didn't mean to post three times - I kept getting a "server error" message


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


Saul Wall says:

Jimmy is one of several Democrats who are attempting to run America's foreign policy on the sly by meeting with dictators and encouraging them in their villainy. Criticism of them is both timely and necessary.

Also, if the opinion of the participants in an operation are the "last word" does that mean that every member of the chain of command above them is just wasted space? Do we even need generals and a chief of defense? Soldiers just plan their own missions based on their own intel and if it turns out questionably we just ask for their opinion on whether anything could have been gone better.


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