Once upon a time . . .
Filed under: Venezuela

{Turn the virtual page to read more about our brave hero Jimmy and his adventures}
One day, Jimmy decided to go and have an adventure. He tried to free some hostages being held by a crazed Islamic dictator in Iran.

It didn't go so well. So our hero Jimmy decided to forget about Iran, and turn his attention elsewhere.Like Palestine, for instance. He decided it was necessary to give the bloodthirsty terrorists of Hamas "a chance" to do the right thing.

That didn't go too well either, probably just bad luck thought our hero Jimmy, and he decided to forget about Palestine too. Next stop, North Korea.

As cruel fate would have it, brave little Jimmy did not find success in that far off place either. Where, oh where, thought poor Jimmy, can I be allowed to show what I'm made of? Where can I be permitted to demonstrate the obvious fact that I'm the most superior being on the face of the planet. How about if I write a book, thought Jimmy. Maybe that'll do it.

No such luck. Oops! Jimmy forgot that Palestine was a place he should stay away from. What's more, the world hadn't yet enlarged its mind enough to see defending your children from terrorist maniacs as being the same as enslaving black people based on their race. But that'll happen when you are as far ahead of your time as our hero Jimmy.

"Wait a minute! I know!" exclaimed our man Jimmy. "South America! I've never been there! I bet I can make a big splash!"

Jimmy met a swell fellow named Hugo down in South America, and told everybody how great Hugo was.

Oh, how sad. Another boo-boo! Hugo turned out not to be so nice after all. Jimmy said he was "concerned that non-renewal of broadcast concessions for political reasons will have a chilling effect on free speech." Wow, that's pretty strong language. Gosh, Jimmy, don't be so rough on poor Hugo! After all, you're a big part of the reason why all those skulls are getting cracked open.

"Gobble gobble gobble," said Jimmy. I should have stuck with the peanuts.






















