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I'm Coming Out of the Closet

Filed under: Humor

I was just informed that two days ago was International Coming Out Day, how dare I forget?

I've got one for you Publius readers though. I'm coming out of the closet, right here, right now, on the world wide web. Everyone will know and it will forever be available to public scrutiny. And if, some day, I am put into the horrible position where I am in some sort of political office, my opponents will forever use this against me.

That's right. I'm a former hardcore Marxist. I loved reading boring books written in the 70s about Soviet and Chinese economic models. I carried The Communist Manifesto with me wherever I went. Camo was in style. Revolution could be pretty sweet.

Did I mention that this wasn't the '60s or '70s, but up until about 2003? Let me just say, that 30 years later than I should have had a phase like that, such a thing does not work so well with the ladies.

Who knew coming out of the closet could be so much fun? Any readers who want to take a crack at this, and share their deepest, darkest secrets about former political affiliations? Dumbest things, in retrospect, you've ever said about an issue? What you had for breakfast this morning?

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Robert Mayer · October 13, 2007 9:49 AM

Comments


Steven W. says:

I confess ... this was hilarious! ;)

Posted October 13, 2007 12:27 PM


La Russophobe says:

OK I confess. The only reason I'm ticked off at Vladimir Putin is that not only won't he accept the marriage proposals (including lingerie!) I keep sending him, but he won't even return my calls. Bastard.

Posted October 13, 2007 1:29 PM


blackminorcapullets says:

You are in good company - George Orwell, Malcolm Muggeridge, Eugene Lyons, to name a few.

Posted October 13, 2007 2:10 PM


UJ says:

Who says it doesn't work well with the ladies? If a passion for revolution doesn't get you laid...what have all these women been doing to me!?

When Marxists do it, let's just say quotas are met, comrade.

Posted October 13, 2007 8:02 PM


Robert Mayer says:

The ladies don't like the communist revolutionary though -- they're smelly. Just ask the bangin' Lebanese babe in the top banner. She knows democracy is where it's at!

Kim -- Have you tried the red phone yet?

Posted October 13, 2007 10:38 PM


Vector says:

Malcolm Muggeridge. Introduction. George Orwell mildly surprised me once by remarking, apropos of nothing, that Kipling's “Mandalay” was his favorite poem. .
www.orwell.ru/library/novels/ Burmese_Days/english/e_mm_int

Posted October 14, 2007 12:25 PM


La Russophobe says:

ROBERT:

Ugh! Don't remind me! Every time I try his bitch wife picks up the phone, or some whore who says "Volodya's Dungeon" or some such. It really wears on my nerves, I tell you!

Posted October 14, 2007 4:14 PM


colleen says:

Some of you might know me from some anti-LaR, anti-NeoCon, and pro-Russia posts here and on the LaR main site, but believe it or not I worked (part-time while I was in college) for the Dole/Kemp '96 campaign out of their offices on 355 (or was it 455) Lexington Avenue!

Now, I can care less about American domestic politics; I'm just interested in the rise of Russia to fend-off American hegemony and militant unilateralism. Suffice to say, the past three years have gone well.

Posted October 14, 2007 4:14 PM


Robert Mayer says:

I'm glad we can find humor in our own pasts, colleen! Regardless of how different they are ;)

Posted October 15, 2007 12:04 AM


Russian says:

La Russophobe

Proud KGB spies do not fall back for lingerie. And they usually stick to their believes and their relationships. In this case I mean his wife Lyuda. So the task is really hard. And have it happened, what would you talk about with Putin after having a good sex?
So, my advice: Stop dreaming about a prince and try to find someone who is a better match for you. How about Robert Mayer?
The guy may decide that sticking to his wife has been wrong, and embrace (metaphorically and literarly) you. Later than he should have had a phase like that, but you both were not met before, right?

Than you would talk about La Russophobe graphomanic articles and he would be able, at last, to explain you what is the difference between the Russian made air defence missiles TOR sold to Iran, and the USA ABM system that is to be deployed in the Eastern Europe.

Posted October 15, 2007 11:38 PM


Robert Mayer says:

Russian -- Fortunately for all women of the world, I'm a young bachelor who can talk about weapons systems, geopolitics, and non-violent movements as well as dance salsa, surf, and make love for hours. Though you won't find me on an eastern bridal website. Perhaps you're wanting a date? Get me drunk enough and put on a nice wig and we'll see where the night takes us!

Posted October 16, 2007 7:04 AM


Roz says:

I was a Virgin Islands (HAHAHAHA!! No, really) dwelling, rum swilling, dope smoking, FLOWER CHILD. And then I was in ATL for a visit w-the family & heard Sam Donaldson abuse Ronaldous Maximus re: Marine Barrack Bombing in Beirut. I grew up that VERY second. And really I glad I did. And so were parents :) And I had a HUGE good old-fashioned Southern breakfast (w-grapefruit juice)

Posted October 16, 2007 11:44 PM


Russian says:

To: Robert Mayer

Hm, another gay? A lot of gays there.
I wonder why there are so many gays in the USA? More than in any normal society?

Imagine a gay is elected the USA president somewhen. Then diplomacy sounds like this: "I looked at the president's Putin crotch and found he is the man I could trust!"

As about your proposal, my answer is:
No way! Even if you come dressed in La Russophobe's lingerie.

Posted October 17, 2007 1:40 AM


Brian H says:

Methinks Vlad suffers from premature ejaculation. Recycling a few obsolete Bears using oil rental income (look it up in your F&W) and faking mega-thermal bomb blasts is just whistling in the demographic wind. Male life expectancy in Russia is dropping through the 50's, population is imploding as no sane woman wants to inflict his police statism on a potential child, and the Islamic natives are restless. Plus China is getting ideas about Far East annexations again.

His frantic dancing will only hasten the avalanche.

Posted October 17, 2007 2:27 PM


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