I’m about to begin doing my series of Iraq roundups, but I thought I would start off with some satire. You heard me right.

Dear Diary,

  Today started out as a amazing day!  I was going to be a part of history and nothing was going to stop me!  To my amazement, luck was on my side… there was a polling center right near me!  When I got there, I was happy to see lots of other people ready to do their civic duty as Americans!  I was a little bit confused by the apparent lack of ethnic diversity, but I found out soon enough that it was because of massive disenfranchisement effort.  Gasp you say?  Go right on and gasp again because I, Michelle Margaret Shoe, was robbed of a basic constitutional right today.

  When I finally got to the front of the line, was immediately confronted by an opressor.  “Are you sure you are at the right place?”
“Um, like duh…”
“Okay, can I see your registration card please?”
“What registration card?”
“Ma’am, you were supposed to register last week.  Look… I don’t mean to… I mean… look, are you even an Iraqi expatriate?”
“A whaty?  Expatriate?  Aren’t they playing in the Super Bowl?”
“Only Iraqis are allowed to vote in this election…”
“OMG.  Are you serious?”
“Uh, yes.”
“Excuse me, but what country do we live in again?”
“The United States.”
“So why can’t I, a citizen of the United States, vote in my OWN COUNTRY?!”

  Mister Security Guard decided to intervene at this point.  What a lucky that poll worker is!  Because if Mister Security Guard had waited just one more second, that poll worker would have gotten a piece of my righteous indignation!

– Michelle

Update: The security guard was a nice!  He gave me a slip of paper and said to write who I wanted to vote for on it and that he’d make sure my vote counted.  Yay!  Hmm… is anyone else encountering the same voting problems I am?
– Michelle

From a little known political and social satire site, SororityGirl.