The hemisphere’s dictators, Hugo Chavez of Venezuela and Fidel Castro of Cuba, have each weighed in with narcissistic fears for their sorry hides. Val tells us that Chavez is brooding that the US would actually bother with an invasion of his tropical mess. (Sorry Hugo, we don’t want the reconstruction costs from your years of neglect!)

Meanwhile, fidel outdoes him by saying that if anyone shoots his little buddy, Hugo Chavez, it will be the United States’ fault, even if a Venezuelan takes care of business. Speaking in a six-hour speech, the murderer of thousands blubbers: ‘This comes from a survivor. I have survived.’ Pretty repulsive coming from him.