The Central American Free Trade Agreement, the treaty to bring our good and faithful friends from Central America into free trade with the U.S. has won – won! – a bruising battle in the Senate. We were terrified all was lost and it was not! This is the greatest victory of the year! Victory!

The last step is to get CAFTA passed in the House. If it passes in the House, it will be a strike for freedom and a deadly blow to Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. Communism won’t be the way out, but standing on one own two feet and selling to the biggest market on the face of the earth will be in. Our prosperity will be their prosperity, oh and it will help the U.S. too! Give me a delightful Salvadoran tamarindo drink, will you?

CAFTA is a vote for real and sustainable prosperity, not Chavez charity. Central America’s future, and America’s is now assured. There are no words for this, this is a great night to be American whether you are North American or Central American.

We are all Americans now!!!!!!

Now for the individual votes here – it’s praise time for the winners and revenge time for the losers and we must never forget who stood up for freedom when it counted and who crawled under a rock, which slimey maggots, and tried to shut America’s door on our neighbors from Central America.

Pride:

The great John McCain – eloquently stated for CNN – link above: “The stakes could hardly be higher,” said Republican Sen. John McCain of Arizona, a supporter. “It’s important because at stake is the future of Central America in its economic and political dimensions and hence its security dimensions.”

Elizabeth Dole – brave lady from a textile state and she voted yes. Some things are just more important than textiles. Like national security. Presidential material. Thanks Liz!

The intelligent Dianne Feinstein who has always had a good head on her shoulders, even though she is a San Francisco Democrat. Makes me proud that I was once her neighbor on Stanyan Street. Glorious!

The unexpected Lincoln Chafee – I expected nothing, NOTHING, from a Hugo-Chavez-visiting liberal of your stripe. You turned out to be a man after all. I salute you.

Sam Brownback – I expected everything from you. And got it. Compassionate. Intelligent. And knows the way the world works. And is pro-America. Great man!

Human rights champion Richard Lugar who cares about all of us in the region, he held fast like a ship in a storm. We love you Richard Lugar!

The decent Pete Domenici – a man who can always be trusted to do the right thing, thanks Pete!

Florida Senator Bill Nelson, a man who intends to keep his Senate seat as Republicans buck to take it. He wants to keep it. He listens to his Latino and Cuban constituents, to his great credit. He’s gonna make it to the finish line.

Virginia’s George Allen – a man said to want to be president who’s acting presidential. Thanks, George!

James Jeffords – the nutty independent from Vermont got a lick of sense. Thanks Jeff, you came through when it counted.

Shame:

Bianca’s Boyfriend Chris Dodd. Still pining after Danny Ortega, are ya, Chris? You sandalista garbage. Always the sandalista, ain’t that right Chris? Barf.

The-Senate-Turned-Me-Stupid Jon Corzine. What’s got into you, Jon? You can’t be paid off, you can’t have constituents who want this, you can’t be so ignorant you don’t know the deal – all I can say is: The Senate has turned you stupid. Get out.

Mary Landrieu, oh sugah honey bun, you nevah did have a lil’ ol’ brain in yo’ haid, did ya’ll? You just wanted dat good ol’ sugah money, dincha? Bless yo’ heart! Sugar-drenched, stupid wench.

Evan Bayh – who’s so carefully cultivated an image as an intelligent Democrat. Sorry creep, you’ve blown it. Word’s out about your extremism, jerk.

Plagiary Joe Biden: Still plagiarizing after all these years, eh Joe? You’ve moved from plagiarizing Neill McKinnock to Hugo Chavez, though. F U

Grand Kloogle Robert Byrd – well what better way to keep our brown-skinned brothers out of the U.S. than to shut them out to free trade? Your Klansmen buddies are so proud of you, Bob!

Hillary Clinton: The icy calculating communist shows her red card. Evil incarnate, you can see it in her gelid eyes. Well Hil, enjoy all that Dominican support you’re gonna get on your next Senate run, beach! I despise you.

Barbara Boxer: Good luck scrapping up the Salvadoran vote outta Los Angeles, freak. You’re targetted for defeat and it’s going to be miserable.

Mister Sugar Beet Max Baucus, who normally votes free trade decided he needed to get paid. The Sugar Beet subsidy lobby was calling.

John Kerry – still stupid after all these months.