Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez has made his first address to the World Congress of Youth, one of these Soviet-era leftover mega-events that young Sandalistas from the West go to, along with their communist-youth cousins from communist countries. I’ve been to these, still have the photos, the main purpose is to get drunk and laid.

Apparently, it’s no different this year in Caracas where Sandalistas from mostly commie countries but at least 300 from the states are partying hearty. Amid all this joint joy, in came the penguin-shaped Hugo Chavez, bellowing that he would repel a U.S. invasion with both hands cuffed behind his back. Sounding like he’d got into the rum.

And why shouldn’t he – he’s had a string of diplomatic setbacks since the great glorious passage of CAFTA and the sacking of Roger Noriega, which freed up millions of dollars to defend Colombia. That said, Chavez seems swinging drunk and has his crossed eyes on Ecuador, Bolivia and Nicaragua. Will he get them? Read Alek Boyd’s piece and see for yourself here.