Between meaningful embraces with Iran’s leading U.S. hostage-taker and quality time frolicking on The Stalin Line at the Happy-Hitler Meadows, Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez still finds time to hawk toothpaste, too. He’s a busy man, a man of the world, but the Pitchman Supremo still manages to get it all in. Last year he was hawking corn flake crunchies, this year it’s bright red communist toothpaste. Oh that Hyuug! What would we all do without him? How would this stuff ever get sold? And there’s nothing more important than getting teeth as pearly white as Chavez’s.

Must be read to be believed, here.