Burmese officials loyal to the regime are all meeting (read: getting drunk) at a convention that is supposed to put the country on the path to democracy. At least, that’s what the government spokesman are saying. Mad about not being invited to the party are every concerned democratic country on earth, the overwhelmingly popular opposition, and anyone else who might have an inkling of desire to reform the country. I know I didn’t get my invitation!

Myanmar’s ruling generals on Monday opened a round of talks on drafting a new Constitution and steering the isolated country toward what the junta calls “disciplined democracy”.

More than 1 000 delegates handpicked by the regime are meeting for about two months at this secluded military compound outside Yangon for talks boycotted by the main opposition group and widely dismissed by foreign observers.

“We are in the process of transition to a disciplined democratic nation,” Lieutenant General Thein Sein, the head of the National Convention, said in an opening address.

“This is the first step in the transition to democracy, and it is the most crucial step. Genuine and disciplined democracy — there is no other way, this is the way.”

The regime has refused to give a timetable for the talks, which have been dismissed by the United States, the European Union and the United Nations.

Nobel peace laureate Aung San Suu Kyi’s opposition party, the National League for Democracy, is boycotting the talks to demand her release from house arrest, which was extended by six months on November 27.

Hey, that word sounds eerily familiar. I think I heard that playground catch-phrase by another neighborhood demagogue. Oh, yeah! “Managed democracy,” or Rigging Elections Can Be Fun, a policy first written by Russia’s Vladimir Putin when he first bounced buoyantly onto the scene. I’m still waiting here for Russia to get off the bench and decry the top-down nature of the convention. Democracy cannot be imposed!

For all intents and purposes, nothing is going to come of this convention. Aung San Suu Kyi was kept under house arrest so that she wouldn’t be able to cause any real, internal pressure on the regime bottom-up style. The military junta is just putting on a show for the international community as ASEAN is threatening to kick it out if it doesn’t implement reforms within the next year. Although the junta is trying to convince the world that underneath those uniforms are hesitant but big hearts, the reality is that there is nothing but cowardice. They’re running scared, otherwise they wouldn’t even be putting on this ridiculous facade.